At the beginning of the school-year a class of children were given IQ tests. The teachers received the scores, but didn’t know that they were assigned randomly…
At the end of the year, they re-tested the kids and found out that those that were given the highest results (randomly!!) at the beginning of the year, now scored HIGHER (for real) then their classmates!
This will later be known as the “Pygmalion effect” or, more commonly used - A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY. This means that children will BECOME what is EXPECTED of them, for good and for worse!
I try and explain this to parents that come to me and somewhat feel desperate about their child’s behavior. They sometimes believe their child acts badly “on purpose”, or “against them”, and have a hard time even noticing anything positive in her/him.
Please remember that our children build their self-image through our eyes, and that’s why we absolutely have to believe in them. We need to see what is truly good and optimal in them, even if it’s just a tiny little part right now, or even seems inexistent...
I know how hard it is to find anything positive in a tantrumming toddler, in a constantly defying or opposing child, or in an obnoxious teenager… But it is our role to see beyond that, and to see the wonderful and beautiful young man or woman, he or she, is about TO BECOME.
A child only needs (at least) one adult that truly believes in him, and loves him unconditionally, and YOU definitely want TO BE that adult for your child.