RESILIENCE is not something you are born with, but a skill one can acquire and develop over time.
How can we help our children become more resilient?
Encourage your children to be as AUTONOMOUS and INDEPENDENT as possible – Stop solving everything for them (from speaking up to their teachers, or friends’ moms, to helping them finish up puzzles, or homework, to intervening in their siblings disputes), allow them to try and do things ON THEIR OWN (from pouring milk, to getting dressed, or going to the store), allow them to make CHOICES about anything and everything, that is possible and not dangerous, and most importantly, allow them to do MISTAKES, to fall, cry and regret things, without jumping in and fixing it… Stop micro-managing your children, making their lives extremely easy and comfortable.
Practice ENCOURAGEMENT – Encouragement is not praise! Encouragement is about SEEING the authentic good in your children, being SPECIFIC about their qualities, and telling them about it. They should see in the reflection of your eyes how much you BELIEVE in them, how much you know and appreciate they are TRYING (even if they don’t “succeed”), how proud you are (of their efforts, the process they are going through, their motivation and willingness to try), how much you TRUST their competence and strength.
If you do those 2 things, there’s a big chance you will raise a resilient child, whom will become a resilient adult, with high sense self-esteem - Someone who believes in himself, that is able to stand-up after hardship, and therefore live a more successful and fulfilling life.
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