What is war?
What is Hamas?
Where are the hostages?
Some children ask a lot of questions and some don’t, which does not mean we don’t need to check on them.
As with every sensitive subject, we absolutely want to tell THE TRUTH to children, and give them RELIABLE INFORMATION (according to age and developmental stage). However, remember YOU know what’s best for each of your children and HOW MUCH information each one needs.
A few things to remember:
Young children, and especially babies, need AN EMOTIONALLY REGULATED ENVIRONMENT. So keep a fixed routine, don’t be on your phone/TV all day long, and when going to the shelter, try to be as relaxed as possible, and while waiting there, sing, tell a story or play a game.
From 3-years old and onwards we first want to check on what they already know and ALLOW THEM TO LEAD with their questions. Encourage them to ask ANY question, and try to not look scared or upset, by any content they bring up.
When we are not sure how to answer, we say: Thank you for asking me, I WILL CHECK and come back to you (and do come back in the next 24 hours!).
It’s ok for kids to suddenly play, or be on their phones, when we are explaining things - it might be their way to “tune out” when they are EMOTIONALLY FLOODED.
Your explanations should be short, precise and CONCRETE.
Questions about death – It’s important to say it’s FINAL: His body stopped working, unfortunately he will not come back.
Always emphasize HOPE, optimism and control – Our army is very strong and they are protecting us, soon everything will be back to usual.
Frightening questions/topics – Give an explanation, but put it FAR AWAY in TIME and PLACE: It happened over there (in the South), 2 weeks ago… here and now things are different, we are protected by the soldiers/ iron dome / our shelter.
Please feel free to let me know if I can help with any concern or topic.
In hope for better days!