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Raising Boys

Updated: Jan 3

I’m a mom of boys, a mother of three boys, with close age gaps. Having a child every 2 years means I haven’t slept through the night for about 7 years… It means I’ve been running after balls, superhero’s, children and all kind of stuff that is flying in the air continually...

Well, that’s the thing about boys - There is always an object, or a child in the air, there is no dull moment, they are physical most of the time, they sometimes slap and push, make a lot of noise, and mostly just love to go wild.

raising boys barbara harcavi

I had this fantasy about having girls, and live in a house full of pink and dolls, putting nail polish on, brushing each other’s hair, sitting calmly at the table, drawing together… I haven’t exactly realized that fantasy, and yet, I raise three very sensitive boys, who know how to communicate and express feelings, enjoy arts and crafts, and love their father and mother endlessly… and I don’t think that boys “leave” their parents when they get married for their spouses’ family. Our children are educated with high family values.

So what’s about the education of boys?

Educating boys is knowing that you are all the time on the move, that there’s always something “hovering”, it’s coming to terms that the toilet is never going to be clean, it’s being ready at all times to run, jump and climb, and throw a ball, it’s knowing that stepping on a lego piece is extremely painful, and knowing that even when they fight and almost kill each other, boys know how to make peace instantly, and don’t even hold grudges, it’s teaching them it’s ok to cry from time to time and not be afraid to show their vulnerability, and knowing that not all boys were born competitive, sportive or with a love to fight. Boys come in all ways and all sizes and I have the living proof of that in my home.

Please remember that nowadays it's not easy to be a boy, or a man, because the definition of manhood is not as clear or dichotomous as in the past. I believe that every mother of a boy should be well aware of the complexity of what it is to be a man today, and be in touch with her son’s choices, in order to help him, and guide him through his own unique way of being.

Lastly, it is not always easy to accept our children just as they are, but it’s probably our most important task as parents, who want to raise children with high self-esteem.

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