“I always call her a thousand times” …
“He never listens to me” ...
“I repeat the same thing over and over” ….
So many parents come to me frustrated (and angry) that their child just does not LISTEN to them…. They have to call them, ask, or tell them, the same thing, over and over again…
Why can’t they just listen?
Well, first of all dear parents, YOU SPEAK TOO MUCH!! You start by saying once, twice, then threatening, counting to 3 and more. You teach your child that it is normal and ok to repeat everything “a thousand times”, and that he actually does not have to hear you the first time.
Next, when he doesn’t listen, you start raising your voice, and when you yell, your child just tunes out….
So instead of empty treats, yelling and eventually, anger and punishment, try this:
SAY ONCE and then “BEHAVE” it (the boundary).
It goes like that: If I want my child to close the TV and come to the shower, I go up to her, make eye contact, and tell her it’s time to close the TV. I stay there until she closes the TV, and if she doesn’t, I do it myself (I act/ I behave the boundary).
I know this all sounds like a hassle and a “waste of energy”…. But in the end it will spare you a lot of time and anguish…
If you would like to gain some more effective parenting skills, you are welcome to reach out.